Honestly? I am wondering why I am here. And how the hell do I actually do this? I have a lot of words to write down but I have no clue about blogging, the format, how to make it took pretty, how to get people to come and read my blog, how on earth to make it not look childish and messy. There are so many talented women out there. How can I be even vaguely like them?
I came into the world of writing and blogging by accident, to talk about the pain and frustrations of a torn lumbar disc and other issues relating to long term back problems, to cure boredom in the lonely evenings while my husband works unsociable hours and my friends have other things to do that listen to my durge. I thought ‘I can do that if others can’. I had an air of grandeur about me then, I felt great, I was going to be amazing. I was flying!
And then I crash-landed. I am now doubting myself, feeling foolish, feeling dumb. Every time I see other blogs, I don’t see inspiration. I see things I can’t ever do. I look at my musings and it seems silly, ridiculous, a non-starter.
Perhaps this is the frame of mind that suits today. I will try again tomorrow.