I needed some time out. I have had a really hard few weeks. In many ways, but not least due to a major relapse. And yes I know the whole point of my blog is to moan and whine (wine) about my back problems, but it has been so all encompassing I needed to step back from it a little. As it happened, I didn’t do that, but was thrown full force into my back problems swallowing me whole and eating the identity that was once Me.
But that must change. So this blog may take a new direction. I don’t know how, but, I cannot just be, as my daughter stated last week when I put some make-up on for the first time in a while, as I was so sick of being asked how I was, people commenting on how bad I look, how much weight I had lost etc etc, I wanted to be seen as someone who looked well again – that I was ‘wearing make-up to show that I have beauty and not just a bad back.
I have bought some new clothes (I really have lost a lot of weight – my new ‘butt-lift’ jeans have nothing to lift up, so just hangs there baggy), some new make-up (got some free with No.7 voucher and a little spend, just my colour, sparkly black eye shadow!), had a child-free day today. Rock and Roll me!
Wine Can't Cure Back Pain 
Here’s to you feeling better! Stay positive! I have a few back problems myself and surgery might be in my future. I hope you’ll follow my blog to see how I deal. I am going to continue writing about my back problems, my doctor’s visits, talk about mental and spiritual wellness, share recipes and talk about the foods I eat. My diet is essential right now because I cannot work out. Walking is painful but I will try swimming. I will attempt to share my experience in the hopes of helping others that have the same or similar problem
I replied and my computer crashed! I wanted to thank you for your kind words and your blog, I shall definitely follow with interest as I am keen to get to grips with my mental and spiritual wellness which is a bit up and down, not coming to terms with the affects of this very quickly! Diet is also something I am vaguely trying, but failing at working on, mainly as I have no appetite! I am sorry to hear that you have back problems too and hope you are finding ways to manage to journey through this awfulness of chronic pain.
I think what helps me is thinking of how much worse it can be. I saw a therapist once who shared a book with me and it was a self-help book. The first sentence of the book said “life is difficult” and I think if you look at life that way and accept it and also realize that you are alive and you do have the choice to be happy – and life always throws curve balls – choosing to be positive no matter what it takes will help you. If you are limited with how much you can move, I say keep writing or do some artwork or read – keep your mind working on good things. Let’s stay in touch! I’ll keep watching for your posts. Sleep well tonight. Colleen
artwork! I can’t even draw decent stick figures 😉 I completely agree with the positive attitude, and there are some people who inspire me to stay positive and I try to reflect on what I have that is good in my life, which is a lot. But then, I see a kayak, or drive to the sea, and it takes me right back to what I am losing. I am hoping, like with other types of Loss that will subside soon enough and be less raw to deal with. I love your blog btw, fabulous!
Well I too have to focus more on the things I CAN do and just forget about running or working out at the gym. I ran all my life and even did triathlons! Now it means I just need to do yoga, pilates and swimming which is better for women anyway. We have to turn this into a positive. And thx for your comment 🙂