A Day of Suffering

Now my back is not That Bad this week, not in the grand scheme of things, and I have to remind myself of this when the pain gets to me and I crawl into the dark tunnel of No Hope. Relatively speaking, a Bad Day is when I cannot get up, cannot get to the loo, can’t easily sit up to sip coffee. Today is not one of those days. Today I can move around, I can get myself dressed and make a coffee and even put some washing away. So, if I remind myself that it has been much worse than this, why does it still seem so bad?

My back aches and hurts and my leg and foot throb with pain and numbness (who’d have thought our bodies could feel sensation and absence of sensation at the same time?) when I stand up. So i sit down. My back and leg shoots with pain and my feet fuzz and the pain makes me feel queasy when I sit down. So I lie down and it all eases just a little bit. The kids come home from school so I stand up. Yes I can do the things I need to do, but there is always payback somewhere along the line. I guess it is time to take more tramadol and paracetamol as I have got to cook (beans on toast), entertain the lovely ones (gruffalo on DVD), put them to bed (no bath, just stories). I try not to take additional tramadol on top of the modified release ones but 200mg just does not cut it some days not even with paracetamol and diclofenac. And today is one of those days.